7 Relationship Killers on Facebook and Instagram


Do you still remember your first love letter by mail? Those days are largely over. Today, all it takes is a few clicks, and your partner knows how much you like him or her. For example, you can indicate on Facebook whether you’re in a relationship – that doesn’t even require an agreement. But do social networks make a partnership less complicated? Or do they rather harbor dangers for the relationship? Because unlike in the past, actions on social networks create the problem that you no longer keep the relationship just for yourself – friends can see a lot of things. For the Hamburg relationship coach Eric Hegmann is clear: “When creating his profile, you should pay attention to who can see what, for all the euphoria of budding love. There are things that friends don’t want to see or that you don’t want to share – even if you don’t realize it until later.”

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Every second person has a quarrel because of a post

In the days of love letters, couples would hang out for hours on the landline phone, blocking the only cable connection in the house. If you needed to reach someone, let alone get on the Internet, you were out of luck. Today, on the other hand, everyone phones or texts via their smartphones. The picture from the last visit is quickly posted. Ideally, both parties can identify with the picture, but almost half of all couples have had a fight over a post, according to a Men’s Health survey. Therefore: think first, then post: If you avoid these no-goes from relationship etiquette, it will work out with your partner on Facebook and Co. guaranteed:

1. You like too much

Especially in a new relationship, partners tend to like each other’s old posts. But caution is advised here, says the expert. “The line between liking and stalking is narrow. How much should reach the other person? One does not want to appear needy.”

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2. You post unsolicited pictures of her

Facebook and Instagram live on pictures. But what if one of the partners doesn’t always want to be seen on it? “To come here with the personality right club is hard. And yet everyone should decide where he is to be seen. Talking about it helps,” says Hegmann.

Typical mistakes that men make with profile pictures

3. They publish negative

After an argument, the urge to reproach the other person on Facebook can often be strong. Hegmann: “Washing dirty laundry on social networks is not acceptable. Negative things, as far as the relationship is concerned, have absolutely no place there.”

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4. You discuss with your ex

Some topics simply cannot be discussed with your partner. But you can with your ex. “Out of respect for the new partner, you should avoid it. One leads so an exclusive edge relationship. This opens the door directly to the affair,” says the expert.

5. You make everything public

There are couples who have a joint relationship profile and post everything there that concerns the partnership. This keeps their own profile private. Hegmann: “Everyone stays protected on one level. You create something new, but also something schizophrenic. One should weigh that up.”

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6. You accept all friend requests

With a new love, it rains friend requests and likes from their friends. How to deal with it? “Restraint is needed here. Stay nice, but only answer the inquiries that interest you. In addition, set who can see what,” advises Hegmann.

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7. You lead your relationship mainly online

Your partner is constantly posting new pictures and posts. Should you like, comment, share? For Hegmann, it’s clear: “Your own needs are paramount. Everyone should decide for themselves what they want to share with the public and how they react. Talk about it.”

Conclusion: Take advantage of social networks

Social networks can make long-distance relationships easier, especially – if you do it right. “All the possibilities of the platforms can maintain the feeling of social bonding. Shared posts create an area of contact,” says couples counselor Hegmann. But, “If you post happy couple pictures all the time, you can give the impression that you’re trying to compensate for a fear of loss, for example,” says Hegmann. “In this way, you’re not only trying to portray yourself in a certain light, but also to put yourself in that mood. This can also backfire.” Better stick to our tips!





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